14 signs I’m getting older

Adult cereals

Adult cereals (Photo credit: yadniloc)

I go to bed early, between 9:30 and 10:30pm. I don’t drink caffeine late at night, I try not to engage in any rigorous activities unless I can’t get to sleep. I take natural sleeping tablets sometimes and wonder what all the racket is about with the neighbours.

I actually cook food for the day after (although rarely). I am for economy. I know what different types of cuts of meat are for. I know how to cook pasta al dente, and know what al dente means.

I look at McDonalds and think of the 4 hours after the meal, not the meal itself. I argue over a couple of dollars in a supermarket. I buy things on special, but check them beforehand, by touching them in a sort of I-think-I’m-an-expert type of way.

I wash fruit before I eat it, do washing up directly after cooking so it doesn’t take longer (mashed potato is a bitch to get up the next day, together with cheese and other such sticky things.)

I drink coffee each day at around the same time, and if I don’t I get cranky. I know what a good coffee is, and sugar is the devil. I ask where the beans are from at coffee shops.

I read documentation before using a program. I read instructions before using a product. I check use by dates. I write an email, check it, then send it. I know what vicissitude and ensconced mean.

I think freezing food is the best thing to happen to home-based cooking since the microwave. I know how to use said microwave to defrost things perfectly.

I wake up in the morning and actually feel groggy. I spend a good 20 minutes trying to figure out who I am. I check my email and then throw my phone to the floor.

I have extended intelligent conversations with linguistic professors over several glasses of wine. I think relaxing on a Saturday night is fine, together with British comedy show reruns.

I think most stories are just different alterations to current ones. I have less fight scenes come into my head randomly. I sometimes doze off.

I worry about money near constantly. I use moisturiser and wash my face regularly. I brush my teeth not because people tell me, but because of dental bills.

I give blood and think about the gift I am giving people, not the strange snacks afterwards. I have a different voice on the telephone than I do when I am speaking to someone face-to-face.

Dust bothers me. Unfolded clothes make me frown. Cleaning is a necessity not a chore. I am motivated to stand up and exercise not because anyone tells me – but because I am more effective.

I like wearing my wedding ring. I like to say ‘this is my wife’. I have no idea when girls flirt with me.

I turn the other cheek in arguments. I can’t be bothered fine-tuning an argument for global warming, gun legislation or same-sex marriage.

I guess I have to admit – I’ve got older.

Like or comment if you feel the same way. Or you have other tidbits of stuff that you can’t believe you do.

Bryan Harrell

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